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princess-of-the-corner · 1 year ago

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Okay finally a proper liveblog of Shadybug and Claw Noire!

Gabriel's VA is having so much fun in that intro

How'd they get video from the other dimension? Is that explained?

FUCKING BETTERFLY I refuse to call him that we're calling him Hesperia. Anyway buddy boy everything is crumbling you don't have time for the speech!! You already know she's doing this shit just say yes!!

Well someone went whole hog on the intro sequence

NATHALIE SENDING GABE RIGHT TO VOICEMAIL

Also I forgot this is right after Destruction no one is getting any fuckin sleep

Mari and Alya are real gay here

TIKKI STEALING MACAROONS

Hesperia asking Mari not to panic after all that has big "B̷̬͇̬̏́̿̚Ȩ̸̬͇̠̓̏͐ ̵̛̝̠̖̤̱͎̻̱͗̉͊́̾̂̔̓̐̃̆̾̽͘N̸̝̠͓͍̺͔͉̮̰̈́̈́̍̒̒̊͐̒̈́̃͜Ǫ̶̧̡͓̥̤̪̤͛T̵͈̳̝̾̀͒ͅ ̴̺̾̈́̾͂̋̇̒̆À̴̢͔͖̯̺̜͇͎͎̬̻̖̲̏̒́͘͜͠F̴̧̧̘͇̈́̏̔̀͜Ŕ̶̨̟͎͕͓̤̟̤̺͓͚̺̰͒̊̌̅̂̈́͝Ḁ̶͙̈́͝Ĩ̵̢̘̩͉̳̯̼D̴̡͉͇̳̮͎̜͐̐́̍̎̉͝" energy.

rest in fucking pieces Markov!

Claw explodes a wall and Sabine just calmly goes to check like?? I'd be sprinting up there???

I was really hoping Shady would say 'Lucky Harm'. I would've also screamed and lit something on fire, but it would've been funny

so. not only can SB make binoculers that track butterfly pheramones. But Hesperia /gives off butterfly pheromones???/ I guess the fandom making everyone more animalistic was right? We won but at what cost?

Also SB and Claw's banter kills me I love the rivalmance

Okay this is a personal thing but I hate this because if it were a more appropriate couple, Hesperia being so soft and carrying Marinette away would be adorable shipping fodder but it's Hesperia and Marinette so I'm like sir step like three feet away

Once again, rip the Eiffel Tower.

I know it's said that Gabriel stole the Miraculous, but does he say it later or are we taking SB's word for it? Because that could be a lie from that 'the supreme' guy.

Tikki. Everything you just said about parallel universes went over my head and this is coming from someone who loves Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle.

Also fuck this existing with Bunnyx's One True Timeline thing

Okay so I 100% called why the Timers are in place. But why does 'being used for evil' override the security system???

... I'm yoinking Claw's nunchucks.

Okay that's the context for Claw doing that. So uh. Buddy boy needs a fuckin therapist NOW

Ladybug: "I'll explain everything to you later." Me: "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?!"

Why.... why did time freeze when making Celestial Cat? It's not a thing that happened any time befre??

THE ONE LINERS. CLAW NOT CATCHING SHADY. I LOVE THEM

Also LB should be having Chat Blanc flashbacks right now

DID SHADY JUST CALL CLAW A DOUCHEBAG??? I SWEAR TO FUCK THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID????

First mention of 'The Supreme'. Saying he'll spare whichever gets the Butterfly. But also like. Ya don't have to be so happy about it.

So like. /is/ the other world some evil hellscape where only a few are good? Or is it just that SB was bullied and Claw lost his mom and The Supreme is manipulating them? Because Hesperia is going on about shit being awful, but if there's more changes then just the slightly altered path, that kinda ruins the idea that they're all just a touch different. But if that world's so fucked how'd they turn out good?

I love how Mari's beartrap diary comes back just to get easily broken into because no one would care about minor property damage if they're breaking into her house to read her diary.

Hesperia: "Claw Noir knows nothing about friendship" Me: "GEE I WONDER WHY"

ofc Alya leaves before seeing who Claw Noir is.

.... Hearing that Andre is on the 'never too late to do good' show or whatever is hurting me knowing the abuse abandonment and kidnapping he takes part in during season 5.

GOD EMODRIEN AND EMONETTE JUST FUCKIN but also their lovesquare is great.

We see a glimpse into the other world in a flashback and things seem? Fine?? ???

So SB and Claw didn't know about the Wish that could give them what they want, but joined The Supreme because......?

"MOM GET OFF MY BACK!!!" Peak middle school emo phase.

Okay but question of how bad things /actually/ are aside, the acting in this? It hurts hearing her cry and all and just want to have the life with friends.

Monarch has finally shown up and he's also having fun but also SB, Claw? This would be the time for regular knives!

Okay but why are they trusting Monarch so easily? You'd think they'd have some trust issues with people offering to make their dreams come true

Giant Shady and Claw. If they're not Akumas, I'm assuming Illusions. Why doesn't Mari think of that?

Alya is the MVP tho!

Mari honey your plans are ALWAYS convoluted it's your thing.

Stilll a little bullshit on why they didn't do the identity reveal but... I mean they gotta ya know?

GOD Monarch's stained glass butterfly lapel is the only thing about his design that absolutely FUCKS

THE BAD ACTING OMG

Oh hey Multiplication makes Gabe a normal height instead of fucking 220cm/7'2"!!!!!!!

Here's how Maribug and Adrichat(the ships) can still win!

Chat without an ear looks cursed

So the Guardian Angel thing saves them, but why didn't Monarch try to Venom them a second time?

Still hate how Shady pins all the bad things in her life on Chloé even though either 1.) all the pain is from The Supreme making everything a hellscape and filled with assholes, or 2.) everything was the same up until Origins where she had friends and loving parents and all.

Okay other than the :/ on the Chloé bashing and the question of what's going on in their world/why things are Like This, the scene is fucking fantastic. No commentary. For as much as I dunk on ML, when it's good it's REALLY GOOD

Okay only one note: Mari has way to much faith her speech will work. Like girl at least dodge.

I do think it's a little weird that Claw stopped though. Like, he and Shady already signed up for murder. He's probably killed someone's mother before. Why would he care about the Wish doing it for him?

Also like. Monarch wasn't watching this shit? Really?

They still have the dunking on each other dynamic.

So. The Rooster can do interdimensional travel. Because sure that doesn't break it's bullshit rules I guess. Why doesn't Monarch do this later when no one's paying attention?

HATSUNE MIKU????

Scarabella and Kitty Noire universe! I'm just gonna assume they're the lovesquare in that one.

anime universe lmao

The comic one is a copout

Wait. The implication with the Mr. Bug and Lady Noire one is that it's still the original LB and CN just swapped. How did. How did they swap in 10 seconds without revealing their identities???

Mari's final speech once again implies that everything was the same until Origins.

Also the Alyanette is STRONG today

Get these girlss a fuckin NAP

Okay overall thoughts:

While I do think it has it's flaws, some of which piss me off a lot. This was mostly a very fucking good special holy fuck.

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the-firebird69 · 7 months ago

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This guy is out of line all the time and his little f**** is constantly challenging our son and our son says go outside or shut your mouth and I'm going to have you assassinated and the guy doesn't and you see him dead in the news he did it again today several times so we're going to get rid of him now he's been asking people and telling them to go after Democrats sometimes with illegal methods so we're going to bring a case against them and we are going to announce it and we're going to tell people in the government that you have to bring charges in this way to do that yeah. You go in and you ask to file charges against someone they have to bring it before the judge and they're required to investigate it but still at times they just look at it and say no and stamp it and you have a right to appeal now you can go to a federal agency but really that's what the problem is these people do all sorts of crimes all damn day and nobody is enforcing it so what you've done for years to us as you ran a scam and the scam is that your the police and the good guys and we're going to run that scan cuz it's with money and stuff. Nicole Brown Simpson was on our side and she was a sister and she was murdered by OJ Simpson who is Trump and he hit her no it was Cato who was Tommy f and just hit her and left her there she did recover and she disappeared a few years ago now it's a few years after the incident the family was trying to get stuff and it was Trump and it was really the max and they wanted information and a lot of it was about Trump and bja she made her business to know because there's huge wise asses she found out what they're going to do with them and she was telling people and like our son said they're screaming until they're blue in the face and it didn't do anything and you have to do things in real time with real Force and they started trying to do it and it was horrible and they got nails and they were very dangerous they take a hundreds of Max at a time and Max her heart to take down and finally they started to disappear and these people need to know it they are horrendous horrendous to our son and you need to know about Tonya he's trying to control himself and he was in Sarasota and I was up there and I've never seen so many Mr cleans in my life seriously they all look like the guy from Mr clean as a particular group by the way and Tommy F figured it out you can look at him and see who they are and he's going to check and the other place too too hard and Ken so it was and he's mad and he says Edison is probably a group of them and Sean Connery or whatever saying is it's one of them so they're amazed to say these are people he's been seeing they come by and see he's out of control and all this crap that little gay boys say he says Joey credit that s*** in your mouth and he did die and Trump has his body and got information but not much cuz he sucks at it

Thor Freya

You captured James Bond and you don't know anything you f****** loser get the hell away from me

Zues Hera

Yeah I probably should I see what you're saying

Trump

This blows you capture James Bond and you can't figure s*** out you have to get rid of you then again you probably thought you captured him and he was you who was in stasis usually happens that way

Yeah I got the name and then his saying no he hasn't even me I'm a girl from the show King of Queens s*** Carrie and no I'm not the same girl in the space shuttle you a****** damn you such a f****** douchebag you're trying to dump him off that and it's the white female horse it's not sleeping beauty it's Snow White yeah that's the name of the horse and his is Black beauty and she's testing that's what she's doing yuck

Carrie

Olympus

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ignooy-nim · 4 years ago

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Things Jae-Lynn Has Said that Sound Fake, but Aren’t: (SKZ Extra Member AU)

under the divider are some of Jae-Lynn’s most iconic quotes :)

A/N : hi everyone! my apologies for not posting in what feels like forever. I was having a rough patch, mostly bc I wasn't getting hired anywhere, partially bc my mom and dad fight often :-) BUT now I'm back, hopefully to stay, AND Hyunjin is FINALLY back!!! HAPPY HYUNJULY EVERYONE!! 🍀 ps, I plan on updating a lot of my posts (esp this one) as time goes on! ~ mars

☆ “tbh, im just trying to be the goth girlfriend everyone deserves...” 🖤😔

☆ “I probably came dancing out of my mom's womb, not gonna lie.”

☆ “hi, my name is jae-lynn and you're watching skz talker” *disney channel intro* :-)

☆ *sings the entirety of 'dancing queen' by abba while laying on the floor of the dorm kitchen*

☆ “in GAY we trust!” 🏳️‍🌈

☆ “I'm American by chance. trust me, I am not American by choice”

☆ “i hate men...” *notices that the skz boys are looking at her* “well, not really, but-- ya know..”

☆ “if I'm being honest with myself, I don't think that I've gotten over five hours of sleep since 2012″

☆ “therapy? more like screaming out the window at 2am -- AHH!!”

☆ “i know there are like 100 different 'jaes' in the kpop community, but just remember that I will forever be god-tier 'jae'”

☆ “my biggest accomplishment to date will have to be when I peed in a cup for the first time by myself, and didn't get any on my hand- I filled that thing to the BRIM!”

☆ “I don't really try to be seen as an 'unproblematic queen', I just try to be seen as a decent human being.”

☆ “oh, I’d risk it all for Firelord Zuko... and Zoro from ‘One Piece’... maybe I just have a thing for boys who can duel wield swords” o.O ⚔

☆ “I’m your kindergarten girlfriend who you shared a steamy kiss on the cheek with under the swirly slide... Hi, I’m Jae-Lynn :-) “

☆ “you can’t be gay AND homophobic,,, like baby, pick a struggle”

☆ “if skinny blocky boy not real, then why skinny blocky boy so attractive? 😏😏😏” (talking about the minecraft endermen)

☆ *talking to mark lee* "'highway to heaven'??, more like the freeway to hell."

☆ “I think I eat pasta way WAY more than the average person should... but am I gonna stop any time soon? ... that’s a ‘no’.”

☆ *‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ starts to play*,, jae-lynn : “thE AUDACITY-”

☆ “cut the cameras... dead-ass.”

☆ [v-live comment] ‘who’s that behind you!?!?! ‘

jae-lynn : “who is behind me?? I don’t know probably my inner demons coming to collect my soul... or casper the friendly ghost,,, either way-- I’m ready :-) ”

☆ *playing ‘valorant’ with jae park* “damn jae really out here collecting 'L''s like they're photo cards, huh?”

☆ *sees the skzoo costumes and pulls chan to talk in private* “OK, how poor are we? you can be honest...”

☆ “oh mamma mia! ... that was a spicy depression”

☆ *any minor inconvenience happens* jae-lynn: "that's hot"

☆ "calling someone a bitch is my love language"

☆ alexa: "sometimes getting coffee isn't really about the coffee.."

jae-lynn: "it's about the friends you make along the way 🙃✨"

☆ *hits changbin in the back of his head while passing him in the dorm*

jae-lynn: "street smarts!"

☆ "'johnny suh'?? more like johnny suh-ks, am I right ladiess?"

☆ *jae recording herself secretly in the dressing room with a voice over* "day 1145, the boys are still unaware that I am not one of them, and felix keeps on feeding me animal crackers... will keep you posted.."

☆ "you're tacky and I hate you" [if you get this reference, I love u and we should get married]

☆ "as my good lord and savior, cyndi lauper once said, 'girls just wanna have fun', and honeslty, I live by that"

─────────────────────

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maroonmorons · 5 years ago

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Eddie falls asleep on the couch while chilling with buck at Eddie's place he wakes to buck gently shaking him to go to bed. Buck went ahead and cleaned while letting him rest and Eddie's like wow. They're not even together yet but that's real sweet buck didn't have to do that. Idk maybe he like sleepily mumbles God I could kiss you while going to his room still out of it as buck's like what and thinks he didn't mean it only he did and he's not ashamed to admit it buck's the best thing to happen

haven’t felt this way in a while [buck/eddie, G, 1.5k]

Buck waves a hand in front of Eddie’s face halfheartedly.

“Eds,” he whispers.

There’s no response.

Or, there could be a response.

Buck can’t quite tell if Eddie is snoring very quietly or ifhe’s developing some sort of cold.

Hopefully it’s the former.

Buck half turns on the sofa, careful to distribute hisweight slowly.

“I think he’s out cold, Superman.”

Christopher giggles, quick to muffle the sound in his hands.

“Looks like it’s just you and me,” Buck continues in atheatrical whisper.

He rubs his hands together and grins at his favorite childin the world.

“Whatever shall we do with ourselves?”

Christopher takes the question very seriously, his eyebrowsinching closer together as he thinks it over.

“We could each eat an extra cookie!”

It’s Buck’s turn to smother his laughter at the suggestion.

Leave it to Christopher to suggest extra snacks while hisfather is asleep.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” Buck leans even closer towhisper. “If we clean up our dishes – I’ll split an extra cookie with you.”

“Okay,” Christopher agrees immediately, as if it’s anamazing offer.

Maybe to an amazing kid it is.

They make quick work of the dishes with Buck rinsing them inthe sink and Chris loading them into the washer. Then, they carefully split achocolate chip cookie.

Eddie sleeps through the entire ordeal.

“Okay, Little Man,” Buck says, bending over to get onChristopher’s level. “You go brush your teeth and pick out some pajamas. I’llbe in to help you in a minute, okay?”

Christopher nods.

“What about bed time?” he checks.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna let your dad sleep on the couchall night. Lazy Bones can at least come say goodnight to you.”

Christopher giggles again, quickly checking to make sure hehadn’t woken up Eddie.

As Buck puts soap in the dishwasher and starts it up he listensto the careful way Christopher’s crutches tap down the hallway.

He can’t help but smile to himself. His chest issuspiciously close to bursting with affection.

More than anything – he wants this every single night.

He wants to help Chris ‘sneak’ around when Eddie dozes off.He wants to tell Chris stories and clean up more than one set of dishes.

He wants in ways that he can’t fully verbalize. Not even tohimself.

To keep the thoughts at bay, Buck grabs the dishrag and runssome warm water over it.

He wipes down all the counters and rinses out the rag,putting more hot water on it before tip toeing into the living room.

The coffee table gets the same treatment as the counters andthen he heads back to the kitchen. He rinses the rag again, rings it out andsprays the residue from the day down the drain.

Next, he empties the trash and ties the bag tight. He setsit by the door to take on his way out.

The light in the bathroom is out already as he makes his waydown the hall so he peeks into Christopher’s room, unsurprised to see the boyalready sitting on his bed.

He’s picked out tonight’s book and it sends a bittersweetpang through Buck to see it.

He’ll stay for story time but it still aches a bit, to be avisitor.

Again, he shoves the thoughts aside.

He helps Christopher into his pajamas and puts him in bed.Christopher’s dirty clothes go in his hamper shaped like a shark and his crutchesget leaned carefully between his bed and his nightstand so he can reach them inthe morning.

“Alright, I’m gonna go get your dad,” Buck tells him.

He can’t help bending down to press a kiss to the top ofChristopher’s head.

“Okay, Bucky.”

The urge to wake Eddie with a kiss to the top of his headclaws its way up Buck’s chest until it settles at the base of his throat with apowerful grip.

If only he wasn’t too terrified to try and take that leap.

Sure, he and Eddie had both been single for some time nowbut that didn’t mean anything.

You couldn’t just say to someone ‘hey you should date myfriend, he’s gay/bi/pan/whatever’ not without being an asshole at least.

The point is – just because people could work in theory didn’tmean it would work.

Buck knows more than most people how much of a tangled messlife can become.

So instead, Buck walks around the couch and tosses himselfdown on it hard enough to bounce.

Eddie snorts himself awake, jerking upright and blinkingrapidly.

“Bu-what?”

“You fell asleep,” Buck informs him. “Christopher is alreadyin bed and waiting very patiently for story time.”

Eddie rubs at his right eye before looking to the coffee table.His eyebrows move up in obvious surprise.

“You cleaned up?”

“Of course. Chris and I did it together. The dishwasher isrunning and I’ll take the trash on my way out.”

“You didn’t have to do that, man.”

“Well, you were hardly going to do it while you slept,” Buckteases. “Come on, story time.”

He pushes off the couch, corralling his thoughts once again.

Buck plants himself in the chair that he can hardly fit into wait for Eddie. He shares another smile with Christopher as Eddie’sfootsteps pad down the hall.

“Who took my chair?” Eddie questions.

“You were too slow.”

Christopher giggles and Eddie rolls his eyes.

He crouches down next to the foot of the bed, picking up thebook Christopher had selected.

“Ready, mijo?”

“Mmhm,” Christopher murmurs before yawning.

Buck leans his elbow on the armrest of the chair that’scurrently cutting into his left hip. He cups his chin in his hand and sighs quietlyto himself.

As Eddie and Buck make their way out of Christopher’s room,it’s time to be quiet for another Diaz boy and Buck doesn’t mind in the least.

He doesn’t miss his huge empty loft. He doesn’t miss thefact that he can leave on whatever lights he wants, or play his music loudly,or leave dirty dishes wherever.

This is a home. Eddie and Chris are his home. Atleast, he wants them to be.

“Sorry for falling asleep on you,” Eddie says.

“Nah, you’re good.”

Buck wants to drag his feet. He wants to procrastinateputting on his shoes and gathering his keys.

“Why don’t you just crash here? We have the space.”

It’s enough to stall Buck for a second.

“No,” he decides out loud. “I should get going.”

Eddie doesn’t protest.

He obviously can’t hear Buck’s thoughts.

Ask me to stay – just one more time. Ask me like you meanit and I’ll stay. I’ll stay forever.

“Alright,” Eddie agrees. He sighs. “Thanks again forcleaning up. I could honestly kiss you.”

Buck snorts.

“Sounds like you need to get back to sleep.”

“I feel better than I did,” Eddie has to pause to yawn,which does a lot to dismantle his argument, “probably couldn’t make it throughanother movie though.”

“Well, you should get some rest. You must be pretty tired tothink about kissing me for doing some dishes.”

Buck should just leave it alone. But it’s like a scab – he can’thelp but pick at it.

“I don’t have to be tired to think about kissing you.”

What.

“Um…is this some housewife joke I’m missing?”

Eddie scratches at his jaw.

“I guess it could be? Like – you make my life better. Thehouse feels fuller, brighter when you’re here. I think you’re actually thesecond best thing to ever happen to me. Does that make you a housewife?”

Buck feels like Eddie’s just presented him with a thirtyfive page dissertation on the difference between miosis and mitosis. He can’tthink of a single word to say.

“Eddie…”

Yup. His name is a good start.

“I…what?” Buck finally manages.

“Sorry,” Eddie says after a stilted beat of silence. “Doesthat sound like I’m coming onto you? I’m definitely not coming onto you. Unless…youwant me to?”

Buck blinks at him dumbly.

Has he been asleep on the couch this whole time? Is this hisdream?

“Buck?”

Say something.

“Did I break you?” Eddie questions.

Dear God. Say something. Anything.

“You…like guys?” Buck asks.

Three whole words. And they make sense in context.Amazing.

Eddie lifts and drops a shoulder quickly.

“I like you.”

“Like… Like like me like me?”

He’s reasonably sure that still makes sense, but it also feelslike his brain is currently rolling down a hill.

But Eddie nods. His cheeks are stained pink.

Holy. Shit.

“How long?”

“Why?” Eddie questions, rubbing at the back of his neck andlooking away.

“Because I need to know how stupid we both are. For science.”

“Both of us?”

Eddie takes half a step forward then, his hand droppingaway.

His heart is firmly in his throat but Buck nods.

“Months. It’s been months,” Eddie admits in a rush.

Buck can’t stop himself – he takes two steps forward. There’sbarely anything left between them. Just a few inches of air that feels like it’sfull of static energy.

“We’re both idiots,” he announces happily.

Eddie takes Buck’s face in both hands and kisses himsoundly.

“Absolute idiots,” Buck breathes when they part.

“Shut up,” Eddie laughs.

He doesn’t give Buck a choice though. Instead, he kisses himagain.

#buddie #buck x eddie #prompt #justsmilestuffhappens #buddiefic #I removed my dialogue tabs so hopefully that helps mobile formatting #fluff #just...so much fluff #bye

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gayfanboyfred · 4 years ago

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2, 4, and 10 for Max, Felix and Garfield<3

Sorry this took so long to get out 😅

2 - How's their team work? Do they share well?

Their teamwork is impeccable. They've always played tossball together and learned to work well together very early on, long before Max and Felix came to a truce on their political views.

And yes, they do share pretty well amongst themselves. Garfield doesn't usually mind Felix and Max spending time together without him. He only has a problem with it when he needs their help but doesn't want to interrupt in order to ask. That's more of a personal hangup than a relationship one though. They all have one on one time together, and they also spend time together with all three of them, so no one ever gets jealous or feels like they're just extra.

They don't usually extend that courtesy to those outside the polycule though. If they want to go on a date/sleep with someone else, they need permission from the other two first, and they need to be ok with getting a "No" in response.

4 - First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

First impressions answered here

It was definitely NOT love at first sight. It wasn't even interest at first sight as far as Max was concerned. Plus his personal quest presented some hurdles as far as trust was concerned. They all needed various amounts of time to bond and grow as individuals as well as together. Plus Felix and pre-Scylla Max could never have what grew between Felix and post-Scylla Max.

10 - Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

None of them know how to drive. Back on Earth, Garfield legally couldn't learn because of his brain trauma. Max never needed to learn, and Felix was never trusted with that much responsibility at his old box hauling job. Even then, all he'd know how to drive would be an auto loader.

Garfield cooks. He's the only one who knows how. He taught Felix and Max a little here and there but neither of them could do what he does. Plus, it's something that he really enjoys.

Felix usually does the handiwork after Parvati moves in with Junlei. He was the one helping her most of the time since he had a real interest in engineering. He doesn't know nearly half of what she does but he knows much more than the other two.

SAM is officially in charge of keeping the ship clean but Garfield beats him to it half the time. Mostly because he really took it to heart when he was just starting out with his old team and Mrs. Peggy said, "Idle hands lead to nothing but trouble. If you're not sure what to do, just look for something to clean." She was talking about his water boy job but he thought she was talking about life in general.

Garfield is the one with the money, but Max is actually the one who keeps a budget and figures out what they have and what they owe to who. He originally started because he couldn't imagine where Garf kept finding more money when he never saw the man ever actually get paid. He still doesn't know where Garfield is getting the money from but at least now he has some sort of idea of how much they have. Garf still finds ways to surprise him, of course. After Scylla he does it just to make sure the bills are paid. He doesn't stress over where the money is coming from anymore. There will always be money with Garfield. It's more a matter of whether or not they remember to pay their bills, and he can be sure they do.

Garfield is the one who handles the public most of the time. People just like him -- or sometimes they pity him for being so dumb, but usually that leads to liking him anyways. That said, Max does end up getting flack sometimes for "taking advantage of Garfield." Never by anyone who matters or has known them long. It doesn't take long to see how good they are for each other. Even someone half blind like Garfield can see it ;)

#the outer worlds #vicar max #felix millstone #Garfield Adams #otp ask game #sorry again for the delay

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superangsty · 4 years ago

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bitter moon?

okay so I know this is for my 'send me a hugh grant film and I'll tell you why he was gay in it' thing and people should absolutely send some more films for me to talk about

BUT that being said I had never watched bitter moon and I just watched it just now and what the FUCK did I just watch. It was a rollercoaster but not in a fun way and okay idk I'm not that smart and I'm hardly a film critic and maybe it's good but in like a smart people way but I did NOT enjoy it at ALL. that being said I have some Thoughts but I'm gonna put them under the cut:

First of all no film has any right to be over 2 hours long like seriously. get to the point.

Second of all I rlly like seeing Hugh Grant and Kristin Scott Thomas together I think they're stunning together and both really good actors and also both the kind of actors who may be straight in real life but bring a gay vibe to every role they have <3. Very first thing I thought was 'oh this is a lavender marriage' so I felt VINDICATED when it ended with the wife sleeping with the girl instead of him.

Also that yellow checked coat she has I have that same coat I sewed it myself last winter... heartbroken that I've been unknowingly referencing what is now possibly my least favourite film of all time.

I'm not gonna get into the plot bc like I assume anon has seen it and if anyone hasn't seen it you can look it up but the whole film I wanted to yell at my screen. HORRIBLE. and I know it's Meant to be horrible like I know thats the point of the film but idk. not my thing.

That being said this is my favourite hugh grant character archetype of 'extremely repressed wealthy british man who meets overly sexual foreigners that make him extremely uncomfortable and also his wife is a lesbian' but I think sirens 1994 pulls it off better :(

Final thing to say and if you've read this far well done bc like. why. this post is Nothing. Anyway I've always hated hugh grant's unibrow and it's whatever it's just like a passive thing but this film they styled his hair in a way I've never seen on him before and that combined w the unibrow made him look EXACTLY like the boy I fancied in secondary school so like that was a weird and slightly uncomfortable throwback.

#im not even gonna tag this hugh grant like uggghh #I'm just! not into this kinda thing! I much like hugh grant am repressed and it Horrified me #also weird that roman polanski cast his literal wife as mimi. like. what.#hugh grant #asks

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rosedavid · 5 years ago

Note

Since Cyrus loves TJ's name, TJ lets Cyrus call him Thelonious sometimes, but one day, he accidently calls him that when they're with the gang at the spoon (but please let it end happy lol I don't want an angry TJ)

this got way long lol! hope you enjoy :)

What’s in a Name:

It’s the weekend, and Cyrus stands outside of TJ’s house. They have a informal date at his house planned for the day. Most likely, it would involve lots of binge watching tv shows and cuddling.

When the doorbell rings, TJ races down the stairs, almost falling. He yanks open the door in excitement, heat rising on his face when he sees Cyrus outside all bundled up in comfy clothes. He ushers the other boy indoors, stopping him in the doorway to greet him properly.

“Good morning, Cy,” TJ greets, automatically tilting his head down to peck his boyfriend’s lips.

“Good morning, Thelonious.”

TJ frowns at Cyrus, who plays innocent.

“I should take back my kiss just for that!” TJ exclaims, crossing his arms with a huff.

Cyrus breaks out into a grin, tugging on the sleeve of TJ’s shirt. He reaches up on his toes to try and press a kiss to TJ’s lips, but TJ dodges causing Cyrus to miss. Instead, he ends up kissing TJ’s chin which causes them both to chuckle.

“TJ!” Cyrus whines. “Please let me call you by your full name!”

Honestly, TJ loves the way his name sounds on Cyrus’s lips. He’s never been fond of his name (obviously), but every time Cyrus speaks it endearingly, with no hint of teasing in his voice, it makes TJ’s heart pound. With Cyrus, everything has always been easier. Cyrus has allowed him to become truer to himself, as well as less insecure about numerous things, from his dyscalculia to his identity. In retrospect, it makes sense that TJ would feel comfortable with Cyrus calling him by his real name.

“Okay, fine,” TJ relents, “Just please don’t use it in front of anyone else!”

Cyrus squeals, bouncing on his toes. “It’s a deal, Thelonious!”

Unable to resist the adorable boy beside him, TJ pulls him into another kiss that leaves both of them dizzy.

For the few months, Cyrus continues to call TJ Thelonious in private. Sometimes, he’ll even call him Jagger if he wants to mess with him. Not used to hearing his name so often, TJ can’t help but get butterflies every time Cyrus says it. He doesn’t say it very often, though. He mostly uses it for special reasons, such as to make a point. In fact, Cyrus using TJ’s real name helps calm TJ down because he knows he’s with someone who knows him better than anyone.

One of his favorite moments with Cyrus so far happens a few weeks into their relationship. They lie on Cyrus’s bed, half-asleep from the lull of music in the background. The oranges and pinks of the sunset stream through the blinds, scattering light across the carpet. It’s been a rough day for both of them. TJ had failed yet another math test, making him feel discouraged. Cyrus, on the other hand, didn’t get into the advanced creative writing class he wanted to participate in the next year.

“Are you asleep?” Cyrus whispers, squinting over at the boy in his arms.

“No,” TJ admits with a yawn. “I wish I was, though. I wish I could just forget about this day.”

“Me too.”

TJ adjusts his position so he’s facing Cyrus, noses nearly touching from their close proximity. He reaches a hand up to Cyrus’s cheek, brushing it with a delicate touch. Cyrus blinks slowly, gazing into his eyes.

“I’m sorry about your class,” TJ whispers.

Cyrus shrugs. “Happens, I guess. I’m just not good enough for it.”

“Don’t say that! You’re amazing, Cyrus. I love your writing. You just need to keep practicing. You’ll get there.”

“You need to take your own advice,” Cyrus says, not in a harsh tone but rather a sensitive nudge.

TJ’s expression darkens. “That’s different. I’m different. I’ll never be able to do math as well as everyone else because I’m stupid.”

“Hey,” Cyrus frowns, scooting impossibly closer to him.

He reaches for TJ’s hand, intertwining their fingers. He squeezes their hands together before tugging them up and kissing TJ’s fingers.

“You are not stupid, Thelonious,” Cyrus promises. “And just because you’re different doesn’t make you any less of a person. I’m different, too by a lot of people’s dumb standards. But we can be different together. And you know I’ll always be here to support you and help you out with math or anything else you need.”

TJ feels tears welling up in his eyes at Cyrus’s words. He opens his mouth to speak, but only a croak comes out. Understanding how he’s feeling, Cyrus wraps an arm around his side. Their legs tangle together, and TJ also slings an arm around Cyrus. They stay like that for a while, just breathing deeply and listening to soft melodies echoing from the speaker.

Despite that day being one of TJ and Cyrus’s worst, for both it ended up being one of their fondest memories of each other. Never have they had such a tender moment since the time they confessed their feelings for each other on the bench.

Just like he promised, Cyrus only uses TJ’s name when they’re by themselves. Still, noticing how much TJ loves it when he says it, Cyrus ends up sneaking it in more and more, sometimes even in public when they’re apart from the crowd. TJ never gets upset, as Cyrus is typically careful about saying it.

“Thelonious,” Cyrus giggles, “Stop it!”

“Don’t think using my name can always get you out of things!” TJ responds, not letting up on his brutal tickling.

Cyrus bursts out in laughter, head tipped back and arms squirming. TJ’s fingers dance along his belly while Cyrus curls in on himself. When he hears Cyrus’s beautiful laughter, TJ can’t help but smile.

“Thelonious. Thelonious. Thelonious,” Cyrus says between his laughs.

Finally, TJ relents. “Okay, okay, I give for now.”

“Finally! I thought I’d have to break out Jagger,” Cyrus teases.

Today is just over three months into their relationship. As usual, they are connected at the hip. Honestly, neither of them has been happier. TJ finally has accepted himself and gotten more comfortable in his relationship, while Cyrus feels fully loved.

“What’s on the agenda for today?” TJ asks, knowing that Cyrus has an elaborate schedule even during weekends.

“Well, we have to meet everybody for lunch at The Spoon in like an hour,” Cyrus replies.

TJ groans in mock annoyance, causing Cyrus to reach over and smack his arm playfully.

“I don’t wanna socialize,” TJ complains.

“I know, trust me, but we have to. Besides, weren’t you just saying you missed talking to Andi? She’ll be there, too.”

In the past few months, TJ has grown even closer to all of Cyrus’s (and now his) friends. He’s made his own place in their little group besides the kid who used to be mean. Now, he’s Buffy’s sports buddy, Jonah’s music buddy, and Andi’s drawing buddy. Not to mention, even though they already knew about his and Cyrus’s relationship, after coming out to all of them officially a few weeks ago as gay, TJ has felt a lot more comfortable in the friend group.

“Okay, I’ll go, but only for Andi,” TJ decides with a smirk.

“You’re the worst.”

TJ smacks a sloppy kiss on Cyrus’s cheek. Cyrus wipes it away, rolling his eyes.

“Did you have to slobber on me?”

“You say that as if you don’t drool all over my pillows as well as myself when you sleep over,” TJ comments cheekily.

The boys spend the rest of the morning before meeting their friends bantering and getting ready. Having slept over the previous night, Cyrus borrows one of TJ’s hoodies and shorts, both of which are way too large for him.

After not seeing each other for a while with TJ traveling for high school basketball and Cyrus deep in studying, they’re grateful to be together again for a bit. High school has been a difficult adjustment, but they manage to find time for dates and friends between everything. Today is the first time in a while all of them will be together in once place.

“We’re going to be late!” Cyrus shouts as he pulls on his shoes an hour later. “Hurry up!”

TJ fumbles downstairs. “I’m coming! I just had to find my converse.”

Luckily, The Spoon is only a short walk away from TJ’s house. Despite the short distance, though, they still manage to be a bit late much to Cyrus’s chagrin. Everyone else is already there by the time they arrive, chatting amongst each other. Even Amber has gotten off her shift to join them.

“Cyrus! TJ!” Andi waves. “Finally!”

“We’re only five minutes late,” TJ comments.

“I’m a very punctual person, TJ!” Cyrus retorts, jabbing his side.

“Trust me, I know.”

From her spot beside Marty, Buffy sighs. “As great as it is to see Cyrus not moping, I definitely did not miss your constant flirting.”

TJ and Cyrus scoot in beside everyone. It’s crazy how big their group as grown in the past bit to include Marty, Amber, and TJ himself. They can no longer use a regular booth at The Spoon unless Cyrus sits on TJ’s lap (which TJ would not oppose, but Buffy for sure would).

“We do not constantly flirt!” TJ says. “We’re just talking.”

“Exactly,” Cyrus agrees. “TJ isn’t smooth enough to flirt, anyway.”

“Oh, please, I could flirt circles around you—”

“You two are literally flirting right now,” Amber comments, sharing an amused glance with her girlfriend.

“You’re flirting with me, Thelonious?!” Cyrus gasps in mock surprise.

It seems so natural to them. The name just slides off Cyrus’s tongue without a second thought. At first, TJ doesn’t even realize Cyrus did anything wrong. He simply ruffles Cyrus’s hair with a grin. It’s only when they notice that no one else is speaking or moving that Cyrus realizes his mistake.

“Wait, what?! Thelonious? Is that seriously your name?” Buffy chuckles.

“Why else would Cyrus call him that?” Andi responds.

“You told Cyrus before us?”

TJ immediately scoots out of the booth roughly, ignoring Cyrus’s outstretched hand. He glares at them all, but his gaze lands mostly on Cyrus, who shrinks in on himself. TJ never wanted any of them to find out, at least not yet, but now one of his most embarrassing secrets is out to all of them. Everyone will for sure make fun of him for the remainder of his life.

“Yeah, but I guess that was a mistake,” TJ mutters.

“Wait!” Cyrus calls out, but TJ ignores his calls.

He stalks away down the sidewalk, fuming. He should’ve known that it would get out at some point. For more than once in his life, he wishes his parents never named him something so ridiculous. Even though Cyrus claims he likes it, it’s extremely unlikely that everyone else will. He can’t believe Cyrus just blurted out his name like that. After all, his family has been able to keep it a secret from his friends for years. But Cyrus just said it in front of all of them. Was it on purpose?

No. Even though TJ is angry with Cyrus, he knows Cyrus would never do something like that on purpose. It was just an accident. An accident. TJ shouldn’t be so furious with him, but he can’t help it.

How did it slip out so easily? How could Cyrus just say something so abnormal like it’s normal?

“That’s a great name!”

“You are not stupid, Thelonious.”

“Thelonious! You need get back to studying.”

“You’re beautiful, Theo.”

“You’ve got them moves like Jagger!”

“I love you, Thelonious.”

TJ blinks. He’s at the swings, where everything began. Where everything fell apart. Now, where he comes to a startling realization. It’s not abnormal for Cyrus. His name is a way to express his adoration and love, to show his support, to be there for him. For Cyrus, his name has never been weird or unusual, it’s just been his name. No matter how much TJ despises his name, Cyrus loves it. TJ loves that Cyrus loves it. TJ likes his name when Cyrus says it.

“TJ!” A voice in the distance calls.

It’s Cyrus of course. At first, the sight of him makes TJ feel anger rushing through him again, but it dissipates as fast as it comes. As Cyrus comes closer, TJ notices that his face is red, tears on his cheeks and in his eyes. All TJ can feel now is guilt.

“Oh my god, TJ,” Cyrus gasps, trying to catch his breath. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say your name in front of them, I promise! I-I don’t know what happened! I was just so caught up in the moment and it just slipped out, and I feel so bad about it! I’m sorr—”

“Woah, take a breath,” TJ instructs, bracing his hand on Cyrus’s shoulder.

Once Cyrus can catch his breath again, TJ sits them down on adjacent swings. Cyrus still appears to be feeling awful about the whole situation, sniffling occasionally.

“I’m not upset, not anymore at least,” TJ tells him. “I know it was an accident. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not!” Cyrus disagrees. “If I can’t even keep your name a secret, how can you trust me with anything ever?”

“It’s not your fault, Cy. You call me it all the time, and I let you because I like hearing you say my name. We’re comfortable with it now, so using it is almost automatic. I get it.”

“I still feel bad,” Cyrus sighs. “I made sure to tell everyone at The Spoon to never tell anyone and to never use it!”

TJ smiles, reaching over to clear Cyrus’s face of tears. “Thank you, but I actually think I’m going to tell them my full name now that they know half of it.”

“Are you sure? I feel like I pressured you into this.”

“You didn’t. You made me more comfortable with my name and myself, Cyrus. I should be thanking you endlessly for that.”

They stand up so they can hug.

“You don’t have to thank me, Theo,” Cyrus whispers into his ear. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Cyrus.”

Only after a few more moments of blissful comforting do they head back to The Spoon. Their friends seem surprised to see them walk back through the doors happy and holding hands like nothing happened.

True to his word, TJ tells them all his full name. Although he’s ready now, he still feels insecure about them judging him. Buffy is the first one to comment.

“We can make a club now,” Buffy decides. “Only people named in reference to someone famous can join.”

TJ laughs in relief. “That sounds good to me.”

“Dude, being named after two musicians? That’s cool,” Jonah says.

Marty adds, “And that guy from Shrek!”

At this, they all join in on the laughter. Cyrus brings TJ into yet another hug, but this time everyone else joins in. First, Andi and Buffy wrap themselves around TJ, followed by Jonah, Marty, and finally Amber. TJ feels thoroughly smushed in the middle, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Maybe Thelonious Jagger is a better name than he thought.

#tyrus #tyrus fanfic #andi mack #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #fanfiction #prompts

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Jac & Savannah

Jac: [Later than the Jesse convo, so drunker too, but still in the clerb] Jac: Total success, yeah? 🎉🍾💃 Savannah: 🙌 Jac: Are you having a good time? Savannah: YES! Savannah: I'm so glad everyone is nice Jac: it is such a relief Jac: so not like high school Savannah: ^^ we can stop waiting for the lives we want now Jac: yeah Jac: it's started Jac: and nothing is in our way now Jac: or no one Savannah: thank god Jac: You look beautiful Savannah: I was thinking maybe it's too much Savannah: if Sienna likes it Jac: 😂 Jac: You could pull off anything Jac: but I like it too Savannah: it's for you Savannah: I promised 💗 🌷 🌺 🌸 💗 Jac: You did Jac: my own uni wardrobe is lacking Jac: next time Savannah: it's REALLY not Savannah: you look perfect Jac: am I still sleeping over? Savannah: of course Savannah: unless you don't want to Jac: I do Jac: just checking 😊 Savannah: I know I stole ALL the blankets but I'm so sorry & I so won't do it again if you stay Jac: That's not what it is Savannah: do NOT use this moment to tell me that I talk in my sleep because I will die Jac: you're a total 👸🏾 in sleep too, don't worry Savannah: you're an 👼🏻 always Jac: do you have a drink? Savannah: Jordan was supposed to be getting me one but it's been forever Jac: I'll find him Jac: try to Savannah: We'll just get our own, I don't need a man Jac: 👏 Savannah: 🥂 Savannah: find me ✨ Jac: Might get distracted by the disco ball Savannah: you're supposed to only have 👀 for me Savannah: SO mean Jac: You know I do Savannah: 🥰 Jac: Do you think any of the lads are cute? Savannah: oh my god! That means you do! Savannah: who do you like? Jac: no it doesn't Savannah: it does, J Jac: I'd tell you if it did Savannah: I'd tell you if I thought anyone was cute Savannah: & them Jac: True Jac: just checking Savannah: I think Maddie is BEYOND cute Savannah: love that outfit Jac: She seems fun too Savannah: [goes to dance with whoever this girl is] Savannah: okay, she's really fun Jac: 👍 Savannah: come dance with us Jac: one sec Jac: [going outside or wherever] Savannah: 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Jac: I'll be right back Jac: got to talk to Dale Savannah: you've got to dance with me Jac: [gotta be at least 5 minutes before you do, have some resolve] Savannah: [excuse us maddie there's a moment about to happen here] Jac: [casually politely blocking you out here no offense] Savannah: [gotta be done soz] Savannah: [when they're both hot so you know lads who aren't even from their course gonna get involved] Jac: [at least you can swerve them more freely in a sassy manner] Savannah: [and we can sacrifice maddie to one that's she's vaguely into so thanks] Jac: [go get yours gal] Savannah: [leave them to their shameless gay vibe] Jac: [try to get out your head gal you can do it] Savannah: [we all know she's accidentally making this so ridiculous difficult for you rn] Jac: [we're not any more sorted than we were lbr ladies] Savannah: [tea] Jac: [so productive] Savannah: [making you come to the toilets with her so she can fix her makeup/admire herself because of course] Jac: [just admiring her too tbh] Savannah: [likewise because now is the time for a shameless hair touch like lemme fix that for you and all the ensuing compliments because Savannah is me] Jac: [😳😳😳😳] Savannah: [when she's inherited her father's complexion so obvs the bae sees but she thinks it's adorable 'you feel things so deeply, I love that about you'] Jac: ['one of us should appreciate it, like' 🙄 at self] Savannah: ['of course I appreciate you, you've always been everything to me' be gayer please gal] Jac: ['almost everything' 'cos you drunk enough that that can slip but then you nudge her like 😏 lol lol total bants] Savannah: [when that hurts your heart so much it'd be obvious on your face for a split second at least before you cover it with your own 🙄 at self like I can't believe I like boys ugh] Jac: [reflectively putting your hand on her shoulder like no it's okay, I'm sorry and covering that by finally being like 'at least you don't like Jordan] Savannah: [taking that hand and positioning her arm so you can look at her tattoo that matches yours like you're relieved she still has it, also without thinking about it but then being like oh shit so you just have to say 'I like being single' even though she did not ask and it's not true] Jac: [when we know you better than that, babe so the really? is on our face v hard but we not being judgy with it and we show that by touching her tattoo lightly] Savannah: [the 'rude' is on her face but playfully we're not actually offended but we shrug because she does mean that she doesn't wanna date another Milo for so many reasons, cos that was a time in both their lives we know] Jac: ['he's probably having such a shit time' in a comforting forget him way, 'cos of course you know what she think of, at least who] Savannah: [she's so not above being buzzing at the prospect/hoping he is so such a happy face again] Jac: [lols] Savannah: [putting your lipgloss or whatever it is on her cos it's nothing too dramatic where she'd be like no and we can pretend that's why you're shamelessly staring at her cos that idea struck you to do a makeover moment and not cos you're gay] Jac: [not at all thinking about the other way you coulda put that on her, nah, doing a kissy face like tah] Savannah: [tucking her hair behind her ear/playing with it like you're so concerned it could get stuck to this gloss okay] Jac: [having to yeah HAVING to take her hand to get her out 'cos bathrooms in clerbs are always packed like come on] Savannah: [she's clearly about it] Jac: [go dance some more] Savannah: [that's what we are here for, a chance to be gay af without either of us freaking out] Jac: [mhmm, live and let live ladies] Savannah: [it's like expected of straight girls at this point so] Jac: [we all hoe dance at the clerb] Savannah: [god bless, come through with that drink jordan, where you been?] Jac: [who are you where are you so many questions also making him go get you one too shamelessly like thaaaanks] Savannah: [when you a bad bitch like your mother] Jac: [don't be making enemies though gal] Savannah: [someone should make an actual move on either of them tonight but I can't decide which way round I want it] Jac: [hmm, there's a case for either way isn't there] Savannah: [because it could be a girl in Jac's case cos don't need an A+ gaydar to be knowing which would be awkward and freak her out but obviously it could be a boy too which would #confirm Sav thinking she's not gay but obviously it'd hurt her heart if some boy or girl is all over Sav and she thinks she's into it so] Jac: [i say let it be a girl and jac for the freakout we can probably use that the most] Savannah: [it has the henchest legs in terms of a idea I agree] Jac: [hoot] Savannah: [how do you want it to happen like are they still dancing or what's the craic] Jac: [I think they go back to their tables to be social a bit and this girl pops off] Savannah: [love that, what type of lesbian are you gal, what would be the most awkward? butch maybe] Jac: [yes like undeniably so lol] Savannah: [I have such a mental image rn] Jac: [a fuckboy who is probably gonna give feminist rants in your lectures, marlene hello lol] Savannah: [her more butch cousin because k-stew is still too soft] Jac: [ruby rose] Savannah: [mhmm] Jac: [just shooketh like how did you know #exposed over here] Savannah: [meanwhile your bae is oblivious talking to whoever else] Jac: [when a girl has never and you can't outright run or anything 'cos these your classmates] Savannah: [like you could run gal but you gotta be subtle about it you can't just be like I need a piss RN cos then she might think you wanna hook up in the bathroom lol] Jac: [oh no no, keeping this convo dry sweaty] Savannah: [at least you can always say you're not out if she won't take the hint because it's against gay law to out someone so] Jac: [bye ruby rose] Savannah: [you can run now if you want gal] Jac: [if she's the kind that can be chill enough to be friendly and not totally in your face, you should stay, 'cos trying here for that new rep] Savannah: [#growth] Jac: [don't wanna be alone again at any cost] Savannah: [so sad and so true] Savannah: I'm doing my best to be a social 🦋 but I miss you Jac.: Come and save me then Savannah: [does but does the thing where they end up sharing a chair like oh hey, you're lowkey on her lap gal neither of you are smol enough for this] Jac.: [when you can fully get into the bit 'cos you are just tryna let this girl know you're not interested, sure babe, like Sav is touchy-feely anyway but she'd be less so naturally but playing with her hair rn] Savannah: [😳 but her skin tone is not giving her away so we're fine] Jac.: [needlessly whispering/loud whispering 'cos clerb in her ear instead of tryna shout to the whole group 'cos we sending a message here ok] Savannah: [we know she doesn't need any encouragement to join in with that because that's shamelessly a vibe for them anyway like soz Isabelle] Jac.: [we've not changed that hard and have no intention to really lmao and can't fault you] Savannah: [more dancing like you've just gotta cos THIS SONG but we know why really] Jac.: [we know the vibe] Savannah: [just dancing til you're actually knackered and do need to sit back down for a bit] Jac.: [is there anything else we wanna/do we wanna let anything go down/however small it might seem] Savannah: [the temptation to make it even gayer is so real but it's like the L bomb dilemma of like is now the right time/do we wanna prolong the agony longer but I feel like something needs to happen] Jac.: [this is day TWO, freshers is intense by default everyone thinks they're gonna be friends forever, and the way most people do it you're like drunk the whole week, so I feel like something could reasonably happen/should, even if we then take however many paces back] Savannah: [you gotta do it Savannah it's your turn to put yourself out there gal] Jac.: [we can all pretend we don't remember lol #doitdoit Savannah: [I just can't decide if I want it to happen at the club or when they're alone having their sleepover moment cos pros and cons to both] Jac.: [like the tension is high in both scenarios but maybe have enough wherewithal to not let your classmates 👀 'cos they so close as is people will be like OH YOU A COUPLE, although, we COULD do that if we wanted, hmm] Savannah: [Savannah just like yes she's the love of my life, Jac like I AM SO CONFUSED] Savannah: [but in all seriousness I am leaning towards the sleepover because if they're alone and then Savannah is like well that didn't happen, Jac's just like did it happen though, like am I actually losing my mind/dreaming really vividly here like] Jac.: [I vibe, you can go harder but deny as hard] Savannah: [exactly because you know they're gonna go really hard this has been such a long time coming] Jac.: [mhmm] Savannah: [plus I love the cinematic visual of them having no makeup or sassy outfits on when this happens like you're really making yourselves vulnerable here aren't you gals] Jac.: [and in a single bed, of course, Jac having literally not slept in hers, like] Savannah: [she hasn't yet, that actually kills me] Jac.: [y'all could've shared if you been knew at this rate lmao] Savannah: [I also like the idea that they don't stop because they get interrupted or any of the things we normally throw at people but because Savannah actually says that she wants to/isn't ready to go any further than this because they do have good communication and also it shows that like she did wanna do what actually happened even if she does deny it later] Jac.: [That was literally the vibe I had too so same page] Savannah: [yet more vulnerability cos you have to be like can we stop but you're not scared to] Jac.: [and at least that's some clarity so Jac is going to be the opposite of mad about it, obvs] Savannah: [y'all had and lbr still have so much trust that it just makes sense] Jac.: [the last thing you want/wanted was to ruin the friendship that's the whole mood we're not being reckless out here] Savannah: [snuggle and be soft in that small bed ladies] Jac.: [live your best lives, we'll worry about it tomorrow] Savannah: [unrelated but cos I just looked up their heights I 100% vote that Sav was as tall/taller than her last boyfriend and he was annoyed about it because he is not Jimothy] Jac.: [you gotta be confident to own that so yes 100% no heels for you gal] Savannah: [Ty can be taller cos basketball boy so you could've worn them then #thegoldenage] Savannah: [okay so I'll write what we said here for future ref 1. Jac wakes up and her bae is gone so she's freaking out thinking that Sav is for obvious reasons but 2. Sav has only gone to get coffee or tea or whatever because that bitch and that gay so she comes back with breakfast and Jac's gone so she's like ??] Savannah: Where did you go? Jac.: I thought you wanted me to be gone Savannah: Oh boo no! It was supposed to be a nice surprise Jac.: Oh Jac.: well Jac.: that's embarrassing then Savannah: I can just bring the 🥐 to you Savannah: the ☕️ will probably get cold so I will be drinking it on the way, sorry Jac.: I'm sorry, that was weird Jac.: got out of the practice of this whole friend thing, clearly Jac.: that sounds good, you can see the inside of my dorm, I definitely owe you by this point Savannah: You don't even need to be sorry, I literally should have woken you to say I'd be right back but you looked SO adorable Savannah: though I'm not sure how I didn't already by like making my secret escape Jac.: but it was a good surprise Jac.: feel like a total 🥳💩 now Jac.: I'll use my time to ponder how to make it up to you Savannah: I can think of another one, it's fine Savannah: to be honest the ☕️ isn't that good anyway Savannah: [spoiler alert it is good and she's lying to make her feel less bad lol] Jac.: I do need caffeine though...what state do you think the kitchen will be in 🤔 Savannah: I love you but I don't think I can go in there for you Jac.: 😂 Jac.: I won't penalize you for being productive and getting out of bed to forage Jac.: that would be beyond rude Jac.: I'm gonna buy a kettle for my room, definitely Savannah: Literally any excuse to go shopping again is endorsed Jac.: I'm down Jac.: these rooms are so old-fashioned by default, there's no such thing as over decorating, it's a decent challenge Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I'm so upset we aren't roommates Jac.: Nat is in David Russell and it's so clean and modern looking in comparison inside Jac.: AND they've got doubles Jac.: but that's the price we pay for the more traditional experience again Jac.: I know, if only we HAD known Jac.: next year, we can share Savannah: I get the appeal but I personally do NOT want to be reminded of home Jac.: I feel you, plus that's like where EVERYONE lives, social 🦋 or otherwise, I want my peace and quiet sometimes Savannah: A bigger bed would be AMAZING though, I can't sleep in the curled up in the foetal position every night of my life Jac.: I won't be there taking up space every night, it'll probably feel doable then Savannah: Baby, I hate to do it like this but you're only average height Jac.: 😂 Jac.: oh, I'm sorry, it's those extra FOUR inches that make all the difference Jac.: what about Dom, he's gotta be like 6'5, spare a thought for him fully hanging off the end, like Savannah: Obviously they do Savannah: but yes, at least I'm not planning to have a sleepover with Dom any time soon, I'm sure he's BEYOND relieved Jac.: No one could be relieved about that Jac.: you're such a thoughtful host Savannah: if we weren't literally in Scotland I'd almost believe the 🌞 came out then Savannah: but it's just you warming my heart Savannah: being the sweetest ever 💛 Jac.: Even if we DON'T wanna be reminded of home, the culture shock of constant 🌞 would be too much Jac.: you deserve 🍧🍨🍦🍰🎂🍭🍬🍫🍩🍪🍯 Savannah: Well, I'd acclimatise for you, obviously Savannah: & develop a sweet tooth Jac.: You're perfect how you are Savannah: I'd look even more perfect with a tan though Jac.: I'd look even more like my mother Jac.: which is arguably the same thing but Savannah: & not a bad thing Savannah: Your mum is so pretty Jac.: I know Savannah: your whole family is a different level, honestly Jac.: 🎁 and a curse, I guess Savannah: like the Cullens if any of them were actually cast hot in the film Jac.: 😂 Jac.: how hard can it be to find perfect clone-looking actors, really Savannah: 😄 Savannah: thanks for not being a vampire, even if we are in the perfect ☁️ 🌧 climate Jac.: as far as you know Jac.: might only wear my fangs on weekends Savannah: excuse me, I know all your secrets Jac.: Perhaps Jac.: 😏 Savannah: 🥺 Jac.: Awh, baby Jac.: 'course you do Savannah: I can't believe you're making me walk right now 🥱 Savannah: can we PLEASE go back to bed Jac.: we should, if we're hitting sinners tonight Jac.: apparently it's carnage Jac.: sports lads, and girls, are always mental Savannah: I don't think I'm going to that Jac.: Not your scene? Jac.: A night off isn't a terrible idea, even if you have to keep that 🤫 from some of our more... enthusiastic classmates Savannah: Even if I didn't desperately need to apply a hair & face mask, I need the reminders of jock types less, I did my time Jac.: How true Jac.: Somehow Tyler would've been more annoying if he also had a brain that wasn't 🏀 Savannah: Don't be mean, he was really not that annoying for a boy Jac.: That's what I'm saying Jac.: his lack of opinions was welcome Savannah: are you going? Jac.: I was gonna Jac.: but I'm not fully sold either way Savannah: oh, so you want me to convince you to stay with me Savannah: okay Jac.: My hair is obviously looking SO glorious without the mask so Jac.: yeah 😉 Savannah: I told you, I'll think of another surprise Savannah: something to do that's more worthy of us Jac.: I believe in you Jac.: ☕🥐 and the rest Savannah: I won't let you down, baby Jac.: Never have Savannah: Well, once Jac.: I'd let you down first Savannah: it's no excuse though Jac.: That's well in the past Jac.: now we have a future Jac.: you've just got the morning after blues Jac.: you need to come back to bed Savannah: you're right Savannah: [show up gal cos it only takes like 12 minutes] Jac.: [has definitely cleaned up this kitchen so they can sit up the table and have their breakfast, also put a tea on 'cos duh] Savannah: [when you can blame how happy you are to see her on the fact you've had 2 caffeinated beverages] Jac.: [we know you getting a big hug 'cos feels so stupid/so relieved that what you thought had happened hasn't] Savannah: [casually dying any time she's affectionate with you because not a touchy feely bitch like you are and of course that's the only reason okay bye] Jac.: [have your gay breakfast gals] Savannah: [we chatting about the night but so casually avoiding what happened at the end like] Jac.: [lol this is all so fine and dandy] Savannah: [truly] Jac.: [if you're both committing to it, it'll work for now ladies] Savannah: [and you clearly both are for your own reasons] Jac.: [mhmm] Savannah: [case in point just going back to bed like that's fine] Jac.: [lmao and we all know you ain't going out tonight girl] Savannah: [we all know you're going on a date] Jac.: [yes we'll have to find somewhere appropriate] Savannah: [yeah gotta be aesthetic] Savannah: [we can skip to that if you want cos we also know when you wake up you just living that pampering life] Jac.: [makes sense to me] Savannah: [okay so picnic is first is there anything we wanna ref happening during that other than them being happy nerds? like obvs you're gonna have to snuggle for warmth that's a given] Jac.: [clearly someone has taken that pic for them 'cos her face so I like to think some extra hoe was like OMG YOU'RE SO CUTE lemme] Savannah: [100% an american] Jac.: [lmao absolutely] Savannah: [thinking they a couple like you're not ready for that convo random gal] Jac.: [don't need to go into it with you, they should also do some gardening, those nerds] Savannah: [oh shit yes obviously you have to start a garden together] Jac.: [even if they just get rid of the dead stuff that's been left and prep it for spring, we'll look up the situ of what to plant 'cos when they go to the botanical gardens etc they can buy things and get inspo] Savannah: [I love that for you ladies] Jac.: [we know the vibe, it's gonna be cute af, nothing is gonna be said/done 'til you go out and get some alcohol] Savannah: [yeah hence I'm trying to find an aesthetic restaurant for you to get on the wine lol] Savannah: [okay gotta hit up the balgove larder flower shed and farm shop for supplies because aesthetic af and they have an insta we can steal from even if we don't eat there] Savannah: [I think the rav looks v aesthetic and they have cocktails as well as a wine list so] Jac.: [sorted, babey] Savannah: [okay so obvs we are gonna try and do posts but is there anything you wanna ref here as happening/do when they are drunk enough] Jac.: [we could talk when we get back, like just do dialogue and actions] Savannah: [I think that's a good idea, who's dorm are we saying?] Jac.: [probably Jac's] Savannah: [has kinda been your base for the day so that makes sense]

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havntednlost · 5 years ago

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The main problem: my mother.

Her and my social life.

She's my fucking hell. Since I was born. She never allowed me to do anything along with my father (that was waaaaaay more possessive and jealous when I was a child while now with my little sister he's all like "do whatever you want it's fine").

She never respected my privacy. My spaces. My decisions. My opinions. I wasn't allowed to have an opinion. I wasn't allowed to speak when she decided something. I wasn't allowed to choose my friends. I wasn't allowed to speak to some people I defined friends because they weren't okay for her. She'd always decided who I had to talk to and how I had to behave. She always shushed me when I wanted to say something that she thought could've been against her decision. I grew up with her ideas, with her ways of talking and acting. She was manipulating me, creating a copy of her. She wanted to see her in me. (You failed. Ops?🤭) And I was always alone. I never had friends. The only friends I could make were people with disabilities. Because others couldn't stand me. Others hated me or made fun of me. Since I was 6 (elementary school) to being 10 I only talked to people who had difficulties at school or were handicapped. I felt like they didn't judge me. And I felt like they were okay with me being their friend.

What does not having friends has to do with my mother?

Well easy: my social life was in her hands. And that's why I never had anyone by my side. Because no one was okay for her. Only one or maybe two people. And I never complained about it. Because she made me grow up like that. I had to shut up and just do what she said. In my childhood I remember disobeying just a couple of times to my mother. Consequences? Being hit. She slapped me in the face so hard she made me cry. Once she slapped me in front of my classmates in that way. My teacher told her it wasn't necessary and mum just used a polite way to say "fuck you I am her mother and I decide how she has to grow up". My teacher had to shut up while he was caressing me and making me calm down. In that moment I forgot I was in class. I must remember being in my teacher's arms and feeling safe, far from my mum's hands. I was 8 if I'm not wrong.

So, elementary school ended. Middle school started. First year. Me, still with the mentality of a child. Naive. Too innocent and silly to understand the world I was going to face. Middle school was the worst period of my life. I've been bullied all the three years.

First year: Afraid. Always defensive. But willing to be a perfect student just as I was at the previous school. It was just me and other four girls (way smarter than me because they didn't live like they were perfect dolls to keep in a house-cage) and then 15 boys. One of them had a crush on me. I rejected him. I got no will to talk about that embarrassing story. After that also this boy + all the girls made fun of me and bullied me and called me names like: horse, camel, annoying, stupid and stuff like that. I was absolutely not used to being talked to like that, consequently it was one of the first traumas I've experienced in first person, without having my mother "by my side" "to dEfENd me". First year ends and I made no friends.

My parents decide to move to another city. Caserta. Close to Naples. I spent two years there. It was a fucking hell. People there were like... the plastics of mean girls. We were 10 girls and 13 boys. Way better, I thought. Ugh, I was wrong. Boys were terrible, worse than the ones at the other school and girls? Damn, they were all Regina George. It was when my depression symptoms started, along with anxiety. They talked at my back, saying bad stuff about me. How I found out? My mother was going through my chats (without me knowing, of course) and she called me to tell me. I read the group chat. They started saying "Is Maria in this group? No? Are you sure? Yes". So after establishing that I wasn't there they started saying things like: Oh luckily she isn't. She's so annoying. Why the fuck did she came to our school? Couldn't she stay at her old one? She's so ugly and stupid. No one can stand her. No one wants her. And she thinks we're her friends! 😂😂😂 She thinks she's better than us! (totally untrue) She's no one. etc...

Now imagine me crying while reading everything because I didn't expect it.

My mother: Didn't you expect all of this? It was obvious.

Well sorry if I was too stupid because I grew up thinking people were good and I would've faced a world full of roses and love.

I just told her I didn't. Your fault, darling.

Day after. My mother goes to school and talks to my teacher about it. My teacher defends me and helps me with that and the thing is solved. But my classmates just hate me more and more. And they just keep bullying me but more subtly so that no one notices. But I was a bit smarter because I had my cousin (I will dedicate another post to this special person ❤️) that was helping me to go through all the shit and giving me advice.

Middle school ends.

I am not homophobic anymore (like my parents taught me to be). I start having doubts about my sexuality but ignore them. My depression gets worse and worse.

My mother gets worse and worse. Starting to prefer my two brothers and little sister over me for everything. I was needed just to clean the house and to be yelled at for wearing always black, being unsocial, always staying on my own in the dark, always with my phone, always listening to music, always being sad or angry, never smiling, staying up after 10pm for watching TV series or reading, not studying much etc...

(Want a hint my dear mother? I was/am depressed.)

In this period I start having suicidal thoughts. Still because of my parents. My cousin supporting me and telling me is silly and that there are other options.

We move back to Naples.

I am now 14.

Highschool starts. First year is shit because I get bullied again but I start making friends. A group of 7 people (me included). My mother says they're okay. Fucking finally.

Alessia, Gabriella, Chiara, Simona, Sara, Andreea (romanian). Fucking amazing friends. Disgustingly amazing.

My grades are low. My parents keep hating on me and yelling at me for that. But my friends support me.

In the meanwhile I get to know a girl on the Internet. We become close friends and that develops in feelings. We start a relationship. Let's be clear. It wasn't. It was just based on the fact that we had the same problems and she gave me a lot of affection, and I thought it was love.

One day my mother takes my phone, again, without me knowing, and reads all of my chats.

She finds out about this girl. I was terrified and so I confess. My first coming out. She says nothing. She goes to my dad and tells him. My dad yells "Go away! Go away from my sight!" and I go to the kitchen terrified. Crying and sobbing. We sit. Me, my mother and my dad. They start talking to me. A sum up:

I don't remember how my mother started talking. I removed it because it was traumatic, all I remember is her saying shit about that poor girl.

I say "Mum, what's wrong with gays? They're just like us"

Mum slaps me. Hard as fuck. I was shook. Scared. Hurt. Confused.

After that they start talking about how wrong is being gay, that God doesn't accept it, that it's not natural, that it's just a phase, that only animals have gay sex and that's why we humans are different from animals that must follow their instincts. They keep repeating the same things in different ways for 3 hours. I am not kidding. 3 hours. From 3pm to 6:30pm only talking about this. (Want to know what I've done all this time? I just nodded. I kept on nodding because I was afraid to talk.)

Mum deletes and blocks every number and friends from Internet and takes my SIM card and puts it in her phone so she can check all my chats from her phone. She throws my phone away breaking it.

Nighttime: No sleep. Everytime I fell asleep I had nightmares so I woke up. Sobbing. Crying. I can't fucking breathe. A fucking hell.

Morning: I wake up totally empty and with a dead face. My parents are in the kitchen. They warmly say "good morning" and ask me to sit. I sit on the couch. They ask me "how are you". My answer: HOW AM I?? HOW AM I YOU FUCKER?????!!!!! YOU'RE REALLY ASKING ME HOW ARE YOU WITH THIS NONCHALANCE???? FUCKING KILL YOURSELF. My actual answer:.... i'm tired.

I don't remember anything else after that. Trauma I guess.

I am not a psychologist but I'm pretty sure I'm fucked up.

So after this happens I tell everything to my cousin. She doesn't believe that. She actually doesn't. She was too shocked to believe it. Haha, same sis. I don't either.

So, it takes a while for her to process everything and that's when our friendship starts for real. (We were good friends since I was 12. We grew up together, but there has never been an actual friendship because of how I was as a child. A pretty horrible child.) She starts helping me with my mother and all the stuff. We start getting closer and closer as time goes by and as my mother keeps being a bitch.

Second year of highschool.

My fucking favourite. It was such a good time. My grades weren't the best, my depression was fucking me up more than ever, my anxiety was kicking me out, but.. I had my friends. With a new entry. Simona. Yeah another one. Alessia changes school. So it's still 7 of us.

I swear if it wasn't for my friends that year and my cousin. I would've killed myself. Going back home from school everyday was basically going back to hell every fucking day.

dude: go to hell

me: awww where do you think i came from honey?

Then... that summer comes. Summer 2018.

I argue with my friends because of my parents, giving them the fault of everything. I keep them away from me. My mother gets even worse. She's against me like I am her enemy. She yells at me for everything. Every single thing.

me: *wakes up*

mother: WHY DID YOU WAKE UP GO BACK TO SLEEP AND SLEEP PROPERLY LIKE A LADY YOU'RE DISGUSTING.

She separates me from my cousin because she talked back at her (after she said bad things about my cousin's mother at her face) and here, another trauma. She calls me whore, liar, bitch because I didn't defend her like my cousin did with her mother (sorry but i hate you bitch). She says it's all my fault because I told my cousin everything about the bad things she did to me. That day goes away and my mother calms down and says it's not my fault but my cousin's because she's a bitch. I have no chance to talk to her for a month then we finally meet when my mother isn't at home. Since then we talk without no one of my family knowing. (It will be 3 years this summer, she never knew we do. How stupid can she be thinking I wouldn't talk to my favourite person ever because she said so).

September comes. Back to school. Third year. No friends. Low grades. No will to study. No will to live. But my cousin has my back. She keeps me alive, in fact I tried to kill myself multiple times. I failed. (Now I'm happy I didn't.) I pass that year. Not after another trauma. I seek for help at school. My teacher tells my mother about it and tells her that I am bisexual, atheist and I'm not okay in my family.

Thanks for ruining me, teacher. I expressively told her not to talk about it with my mother buuuut okay.

Quick sum up: I come back from school, my mother is crying. She starts saying things like "You don't want me as a mother? You don't like me? You hate me?" and I said no (not knowing that she knew what I said at school). Then the evening she walks to me and sits near me.

"Tell me the truth"

I was obviously confused. So she confesses what she knows. I was expecting the worst. It ended up with me talking to my uncles because my mother was "tOo hUrt" to talk to me.

"It's just a phase." "I hated my parents too." "You're too young to say these things." "You can't say you're bisexual if you never experienced anything."

It ended up with me faking a hug and "I'm sorry mum, I exaggerated." (obviously it was just to make everything stop).

bonus

me: *wants help to fight a difficult situation*

mum: *gets to know about it* YOU HURT ME YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH.

also mum: *reproaches it to my face everytime she's mad at me*

Fourth year starts. This is my year. This year. 2019/2020. It started perfectly. Good grades, my friends are back.

We move again. Tivoli (Rome). I am fucking happy with that. Expect for the fact that I can't meet my cousin anymore. But of course we can chat. Secretly on Telegram. Because my mother doesn't know what it is. Also, she stopped checking my phone, finally.

So, now. I'm 17, fourth year of highschool. Here I have no friends because they all suck. I miss my friends from Naples. And I wish I was free from my parents.

Some parts are not detailed. This because I will dedicate to them other posts otherwise this one would've been waaaaaay longer. And it's already too long.

No one will read these long posts but in case you're doing it, thank you ❤.

#my mother is satan #i hate my mother #my parents are crazy #fuck my parents #fuck my family #depression #anxiety #no social life #i have no social life #i have no friends #it's all my mothers fault

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missjanedoeeyes-blog · 7 years ago

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ok NO. You can't just GO AROUND listing out all your favourite chub characters and NOT EXPECT us to have FOLLOW UPS. I HAVE TO KNOW. Favourite HP character chubcanons??? (PS have you ever seen outlander? I've watched four episodes and let me tell you there is much potential for kinkery in 18th century Scotland. I know I've said this before in an ask but KILTS dude. They're my kryponite)

Oh, buddy. Pal. Friend. You are probably gonna regret this ask, because my HP headcanons are fucking deep and real, and I’m about to spill them all over my dash. So. Buckle the fuck up.

Harry: okay, so we know that Harry didn’t get enough as a kid. Not enough food, not enough love, not enough goddamn fucking sunlight. So, like, first of all, let’s just go ahead and confirm that there is no fucking way Harry Potter doesn’t grow up to have Issues. And, given the whole underfed orphan thing? I think it’s perfectly reasonable that those Issues might in some way manifest themselves in a food-related way. (And also a kinky way. Because if you’re not sublimating your deep-seated emotional issues in your sex life then…idk. Sounds fake.)

ANYWAY. Harry can’t really begin to wrap his head around it, even. He just knows that the only time his orgasms feel like anything more than a perfunctory bodily response to stimuli is when he jerks off after stuffing himself till he can hardly fucking move. And Christ, he knows it’s so fucked up, and he hates that this is just one more way he’s different, one more way that he’s not like everyone else. But most of all he hates the way he feels when he doesn’t do it, when he goes to sleep without a full belly, without the kind of orgasm that leaves him wrung out and breathless. When he goes to sleep and can barely tell his own adult bedroom from the cupboard under the stairs.

So he eats.

And of course everyone Concern Faces him about it, worried about his weight gain, is he okay, is he depressed, does he want to join a Muggle gym, blah blah. In fact, the only person who ISN’T worried is Draco Malfoy, whom Harry runs into in the Ministry pretty regularly, and who lives to give Harry shit. (He’s also been in love with Harry for years, but he’s keeping that under his pointy wizard hat, thanks ever so.) So the first time Draco mentions Harry’s weight, it’s almost a relief when there’s no sweet and loving worry on his face, just the same old shit-eating Malfoy smirk. “Merlin, Potter, Auror robes getting a little a tight, there. Aren’t you lot supposed to be fit? Dueling shape and all that? Lay off the treacle tart, maybe.”

And Harry, who has been unnaturally interested in Draco Malfoy since before he even knew he was gay, doesn’t know what to say, but all he can THINK is that it’s nice that Malfoy doesn’t treat him like he’s made of glass — and that it’s nice that he apparently knows that Harry’s favorite dessert is treacle tart.

And if, maybe, Draco starts making more frequent appearances in Harry’s increasingly weird stuffing-slash-jerk-off sessions? Well, that’s no one’s business but Harry’s.

So maybe finally one day it all comes to a head, when Harry and Draco are both in the basement of the Ministry, looking through backdated files or some shit, and Draco makes yet another crack about Harry’s weight, something awful like The Boy Who Lived to Eat, probably, and Harry finally just blurts out, “it feels good, so why the fuck not?” Because there’s something about Malfoy that makes it okay to just blurt out the truth—there’s nothing Harry can say that will make Malfoy think worse of him, and in a way that feels weirdly safe.

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Harry swears Draco looks like a Thestral scenting blood, the way his stupid pointy nose comes up and he stares right at Harry. “It feels good?” He drops his eyes down to Harry’s gut, then back up to his face, which is unbelievably pink by now, and all of a sudden he just knows, right? The way Harry’s practically squirming, the way he’s blushing so deeply over what should be just routine piss-taking….and just like that, Draco knows it’s about sex. It has to be.

And then, all Draco can think about is that there’s some kinky thing going on with Potter and his big round belly, and suddenly it’s…shit. It’s inexplicably hot. Not because Draco had a thing for big bellies before this, but because it’s so painfully obvious that something about this is hot to Harry. And all he wants is to be able to give Harry whatever he wants. Force him to admit whatever desire there is, whatever filthy secret makes his soft cheeks flame up red and ashamed. God, Draco wants to drag every dirty confession out of Potter’s gorgeous mouth and just roll around in all of it.

So he makes it his mission. He runs into Harry in the cafeteria and comments on his tray. He jostles past him in the hall and brushes a hand over his lovehandle (and jerks off over the contact for days). He times his trip to the tea cart to coincide with Harry’s just so that he can stare obviously at Harry’s plate of biscuits until Harry’s face is flaming and then casually say hello.

Now if he could just figure out how to A) get Potter alone, B) get him to confess exactly what’s getting him off about getting so goddamned fat, and C) let him know that Draco doesn’t give a single bloody fuck that Potter’s Quidditch body is gone, and that in fact Draco thinks he looks fine, and that maybe he’d like to shove Potter up against a wall and grind against his stupid fat gut until he comes like a fucking schoolboy.

And that, my friend, is my chubby Harry headcanon.

My chubby Draco headcanon, on the other hand, is that he’s a spoilt little Pureblood shit, and he’s used to having everything he wants, including copious amounts of sweets. And after the war, now that there’s not a noseless megalomaniac living in his ancestral home, and his father isn’t either out being evil or trapped inside Malfoy Manor with said noseless megalomaniac, being all wandless and pathetic? When Draco finally gets a chance to relax? He indulges a little.

And it probably wouldn’t have even mattered, except he’s not playing Quidditch anymore, either, and it IS a little rough, that first year or so after the war, when the Malfoy name alone is enough to get him hexed on sight if he walks into Diagon Alley. IF he were to eat his feelings, there’d be a lot of feelings. You know, if he had feelings. Which he likes to pretend he does not. But really, who could blame him if he spent a lot of that first year post-war studying for his NEWTS in the privacy of his bedroom suite, eating his way through rich meals and box after box of exquisite chocolates owled in from Bruges, drinking a few extra glasses of that priceless Goblin-made dessert wine he likes….

The first time Harry sees him again after the war, more than a year has passed, and Draco’s pointy little ferret face has filled out so sweetly, with his rounded cheeks and his blurry jawline, that Harry stops dead in his tracks. His robes look so tight that the buttons might actually burst, and Harry cannot stop staring.

Draco looks murderous, like he’s waiting for Harry to say something awful, and Harry has the most irresistible urge to pinch his cheeks. He doesn’t, of course, but he does send an owl to Malfoy Manor the next day. It’s batshit lunacy, Harry knows, but he wants to see Malfoy—the newer, rounder Malfoy—again. And maybe shove some chocolates in his stupid spoiled face. If he’s into that sort of thing.

And Hermione: oh, sweet lovely brilliant Hermione, who gives zero fucks about what witches are supposed to do or act like or care about, and who is mercilessly scaling the rungs of power in the Ministry, which doesn’t really leave her a lot of time for things as mundane as cooking something healthy for herself when she gets back to her flat every night. So she gets takeout. And candy bars. And easy, cheap Muggle food that she snacks on like it’s an act of rebellion inside the hallowed halls of the Ministry of Magic, where blood status still seems to matter, even just to the extent that most of the higher ups are pureblood, or nearly so. Hell, even Shacklebolt himself is “Sacred Twenty-Eight” (a term that enraged Hermione to the very bottom of her social-justice-seeking-soul).

And that’s how she sort of obliviously puts on a solid sixty pounds, until she’s dangerously curvy and has a tummy like a warm pillow. It’s the only soft thing about her.

(Does she end up falling head over heels in love with Pansy Parkinson, who can’t really decide if she’s more smitten with Hermione’s ridiculously thick thighs or her meteoric rise to power? And does Pansy support Hermione’s career with a particularly Slytherin sort of relish, whispering political schemes a into Hermione’s ear and joyfully watching as her brilliant Muggleborn wife storm the highest echelons of the Ministry? Yes. She. Does.)

#this was so excessive #I’m so sorry #once I started I had to get it all out #but ANYWAY #my friends keep pimping outlander to me #I should watch it #especially if there’s kinkability #and thank you so much for this ask #because it gave me an excuse to barf up all of this delightful nonsense #I do so love revisiting old treasures fandoms #chubby harry potter #chubby Draco Malfoy #chubby Hermione Granger

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